Curtain Call Read online

  “Hey,” I said, flipping open my phone the moment I shut my bedroom door.

  “I just saw it. Are you okay?” Josh’s voice caressed my ear, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I climbed into bed.

  “It was awful, wasn’t it?” I asked.

  “Truly. What was she thinking?”

  I rubbed my eyes. “I have no idea. How often do those commercials run?”

  “Hoyt Toyota? I don’t know, every few minutes at least,” Josh said, then he started to chuckle.

  Once he started to laugh I did too, and we laughed until I had tears running down my face. As our laughter subsided, we fell into a silence that rang in my ears.

  “Listen, um…I’m sorry I called. I know you want space, but I was watching TV with the guys and I just couldn’t not call, you know?” Josh sounded lost as his voice broke.

  “I’ve missed talking to you,” I admitted. I felt another breath of relief whoosh out of me.

  “Maybe I could call more often,” Josh said.

  “Maybe,” I agreed.

  Josh sighed. The sound rattled all the way to my heart. “You keep going hot and cold on me, Han. This is killing me.”

  My mind drifted back to the kiss at Twisters. Heat flooded my body. I wasn’t immune to Josh, obviously. But how could I keep myself in check while still holding on to the things that felt important to me?

  “I’m so confused,” I admitted.

  “Talk to me,” Josh said. I loved when he did this. Sinking back into my pillow, I tried to organize my thoughts.

  “Like right now,” I said. “I really want to tell you to come over so you can hold me, kiss me, tell me everything I need to hear.”

  “But?” Josh prompted.

  “I just…if you did come over, you’d probably end up spending the night, and I just…don’t want that,” I said.

  “I can control myself, Han. I did for several years before we ever started.” Josh said sounding annoyed.

  I blew out a shaky breath. “But can I?”

  “I’ll be honest, I don’t really understand all of this. You want to wait but you aren’t sure if you can control yourself around me? Come on.”

  “I know. I’m a freak,” I said, misery washing over me. “I just wish we had waited until our wedding night.” When Josh didn’t say anything, I continued, “Apparently that makes me even more of a freak.”

  “You aren’t a freak, sweetheart,” Josh said softly. “I wish…I wish I had known how important that was to you. Maybe I could have been stronger.”

  I laughed despite myself. “I’m pretty sure you are stronger than any other guy on the planet, Josh. You waited nearly five years.”

  “I’d wait forever for you.” Josh’s voice held so much emotion that it spread over me like a wave.

  “Well, we can’t go back now,” I said with a sigh.

  “No, we can’t,” Josh agreed. “But we can move forward. We can fix this.”

  I yawned and snuggled down in my pillow. “Yeah, but not tonight. I love you, Josh.”

  “You get some sleep,” Josh said and sighed.

  ****

  “Can we meet this afternoon?” Max asked, dropping into a seat beside me as I lounged in the theater building lobby.

  “Sure,” I replied.

  “We really need to get a script together. It has to be approved by March third.” Max handed me a thick spiral bound notebook that he had inscribed with “Script Ideas” in thick block letters.

  “How long do you think it will take to get approved? We need to get auditions going,” I said.

  Max chewed on his lower lip, a worried look flashing across his face. “I know, but there’s nothing we can do about it. Part of the challenge of the senior project is to work within the confines of time.”

  “We can do it,” I said with more confidence than I felt.

  “Sure we can,” Max replied with his easy grin. A knock at the door drew our attention away from our conversation. Luisa peeked around the doorframe. Max waved her in. She bounded across the room, planted a kiss on his lips, and perched on the edge of his chair.

  After a moment of silence, she cast me a sideways glance. “Can I ask how you’re doing?”

  I nodded slowly, thinking how to answer her. “Okay, I think. I’m still working things out, but I’m okay.”

  Max leaned back and crossed his arms. “Luisa’s been really concerned about you,” he said.

  Luisa slid into a chair of her own. She said, “I know we aren’t close or anything, but after that night at Twisters, I have to say your boy would do anything for you. He’s pretty broken up still.”

  “Wait, what? How do you know?” I asked.

  “Um…well,” Luisa said as she shifted in his seat. “After that night, you know, at Twisters, Max and I ran into Josh and we all started to talk. He was so heartbroken we couldn’t very well turn him away.”

  I wanted to feel betrayed, but I didn’t. Instead, I felt relieved. The stress that had been stalking me drained out of my body making my whole body feel weak. And now he knew for sure I wasn’t seeing Max. “I’m glad Josh has had someone to talk to,” I said, softly. “I’ve been so focused on myself lately that I…I hadn’t even thought about it. I just assumed…”

  “We know,” Luisa said. She reached out and squeezed my hand.

  I could feel Luisa’s sympathy radiating from her. She was just the sort of person I felt instantly comfortable with. Max was really lucky to have her.

  “Come on, let’s head over to Crossroads. Maybe we can get something to eat while we work on this masterpiece.” Max pulled me to my feet, and after piling on our winter gear, we slogged across the theater parking lot toward Crossroads. On the way we passed Jimmy’s Red Hots. I peeked inside the window remembering all my after school hours spent seated behind that cash register.

  “I used to work here,” I said to Max and Luisa by way of explanation.

  Max raised an eyebrow and pursed his lips. “Definitely not you.”

  I laughed. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “Smelling like bad food and constantly having a layer of grease shimmering on your skin? Sorry, but that just doesn’t become a girl like you,” Luisa said as we moved on.

  “A girl like me?”

  “You could be a star if you wanted,” Max replied, running a gloved hand along the side of the building. “You just have that quality about you. Luisa and I were just talking about this, weren’t we?”

  "Max is right," Luisa said. “I’ve seen you perform. You have the ‘it’ factor.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “That’s sweet, but I don’t think that’s the life for me.”

  Max was quiet for a minute. As he wrapped an arm around Luisa, he asked, “What do you want to do after graduation?”

  I exhaled a deep breath, fogging the air in front of me. “That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? I have no idea. What about you?”

  “I don’t know,” he said seriously. “My agent tells me I have to decide whether I want to do Hollywood or New York. Can’t conquer both at the same time.”

  “You have an agent?” I felt my wide-eyed amazement with a tinge of embarrassment. I definitely sounded like some star-struck country bumpkin.

  “Sure, it seemed like a good move. He’s a mid-level agent, no big clients, but I’m hoping to change that for him.” Max shrugged. “I’m not delusional. My chances are slim to none, but I want a career in theater, I think. Movies just aren’t going to be my thing.”

  I kicked at a snowdrift. “I have no idea if I even want to pursue anything with theater or drama in general,” I admitted. “I feel like I’m done with this part of my life, and it’s weird because I love theater stuff. I just don’t think I want it to be my career.”

  “Understandable,” Max said. “You could always teach.”

  “That’s what my sister does now,” I said slowly. “She teaches drama at our old high school alongside our old drama teacher. I just…no, that’s not for m
e either. I just don’t have any idea yet.” I glanced at Luisa. “What do you want to do?”

  “I’m applying for med school,” Luisa said. She adjusted the knit hat on her head. “I’ll pick one in a city where Max ends up. LA. New York. It doesn’t matter. There are good med schools in both.”

  Max smiled at her then pulled his knit hat down lower over his ears. The wind picked up and sent snow drifting down on us from the overhangs of buildings as we passed by. “Maybe you should look at grad school options. If I wasn’t going to spend next year auditioning, I’d be looking at grad schools.”

  “I probably will,” I said.

  We continued on in a companionable silence, but the conversation had thrown me for a loop. This was the first time I had ever admitted that I didn’t want to pursue theater. Right around the time Josh and I had started sleeping together, he had asked me roughly the same question. I had blown off the answer, and then things had started to feel so heavy between us that I just couldn’t talk to him about it. I couldn’t talk to him about anything.

  I had a loving boyfriend and while I enjoyed making love, fear and guilt and regret would slam me the second we were done. The emotions consumed me. I spent all month waiting for my period even though I was on birth control. And that one time I was actually late…everything was so dark. I had pictured a future like Harlow’s. It wasn’t what I wanted for myself.

  The fact that Harlow had to struggle every day despite having a good paying job left me feeling cold fear. She had given up her youth before she was done being young. Sure I knew that plenty of people had kids in their early twenties, but that also meant they were responsible for another person who depended on them completely. I wanted to have the freedom to explore my adult life before I took on the role of mommy. When I first got married, I wanted to be able to give my role as wife my whole attention.

  I felt like I should feel one hundred times better without the complication of sex, but that had been replaced by the yawning hole of missing Josh. And while I didn’t want to go back to the place we had been, I also didn’t want to stop making love with Josh forever. If we were married that would be different. We’d have the whole package then. But…I knew marriage wasn’t going to solve all of my problems. I shoved the thoughts aside.

  We reached Crossroads just as my legs became numb. The heady scent of coffee and cheesecake met us at the door.

  “Let’s grab a seat near the back,” Max said.

  “I’m going to run to the bathroom,” Luisa said. “Order me a slice of cheesecake?”

  “Sure thing,” Max said. He grabbed her around the waist before she had a chance to leave, and he kissed her swiftly and soundly on the lips. Luisa giggled, and tipped her head back to look up at him with happily shining eyes. The corner of Max’s mouth quirked up as he placed another quick kiss on the tip of her nose. She returned the kiss with one on his nose before she pulled away to head to the restroom. The moment felt so intimate that it seemed voyeuristic just standing there.

  I followed Max to one of the converted car booths. He really seemed to like these. We ordered as soon as the waitress showed up with water. I went for my favorite cheesecake and a cup of coffee; Max ordered a hamburger, fries, an omelet, and a milkshake. He smiled as he told the waitress he needed to save room for dessert.

  “Where do you pack all that food?” I asked, half-joking, half-serious.

  Max grinned. “The secret is my fabulous metabolism. Okay, now really we need to decide on a direction for this show.”

  “What’d I miss?” Luisa asked as she slid into the booth next to Max.

  “We were just getting ready to decide on the script for the show,” he replied.

  I smirked. “I think you’ve already taken care of that, haven’t you?” I asked as I tapped his binder.

  “Not really. I’ve presented the essence of the show,” Max said. Honestly, if I didn’t like the guy so much, I’d have laughed. He continued, “I’m counting on you to help me flesh out the story, give it some life. Do you think we can do that?”

  “Of course,” I said, “but I think you have more than you give yourself credit for.”

  “Hannah, darling, what are you doing here? And who is this gorgeous young man?” Grandma dropped into the seat beside me, making me scoot to the corner.

  Oh, no.

  “Grandma, this is Max. We’re working on our senior project together. Max, this is my grandmother,” I said by way of introduction.

  “Hey, you’re in that new Hoyt Toyota commercial,” Max said. “Man, that thing is terrific.”

  “Thank you, young man,“ Grandma said. She leaned closer to me and asked, “This isn’t your new beau is it, Hannah?”

  Before I could respond, Max said, “No ma’am, I’m not. This is my fiancée, Luisa. We’ve been engaged for a year now. I think Hannah’s business is her own.”

  Grandma’s eyes widened with…not surprise, more like respect at the way Max had politely but firmly stood up to her. “Then if you are working with Hannah, I presume that means that she has shared my willingness to be a guest star in your production.”

  Max raised an eyebrow and shot me an amused look. I rolled my eyes. He said, “Yeah, I’ve heard, but would you be willing to tell me how you envision the role?”

  Man, he was good. Grandma’s face lit up, and she beamed at him. “I was thinking that I could do the burlesque show that I do at the Sugar Bomb on Tuesday nights. My besties, Millie and Ethel, might be willing to be in the show with me. They were in the Hoyt Toyota commercial with me. You’ve seen their work. I was thinking feathers and lace. You know, sort of a tongue-in-cheek reference to the song ‘Leather and Lace.’”

  As good as Max was, he couldn’t process all that Grandma had thrown at him in under ten seconds. He choked on his water when she mentioned her burlesque show and the Sugar Bomb in the same sentence. Then he’d spent the remainder of her monologue trying to recover. Grandma didn’t seem to notice, merely sat back and smiled while she waited for Max to respond.

  Licking his lips, Max cleared his throat, and said, “Well, that’s definitely something to consider. Um, right now, Hannah and I are in the process of getting our script together for approval.”

  “We’ll let you know when anything is decided, Grandma,” I said.

  Grandma looked like she was about to say something, as she opened her mouth, but thankfully Millie approached, and Grandma made her excuses to leave.

  When she was out of hearing range, Max blew out a deep breath. “Wow,” he said. “Just wow.”

  With a smirk, I nodded. “Yup, that would be my dear old granny.”

  “She’s something else,” Max said with a chuckle.

  Luisa burst out laughing. Tears of mirth rolled down her cheeks as she gasped for air. “That was spectacular,” she said between spurts of giggles. “Max, you should have seen the look on your face. Hannah, your grandmother is hilarious. I hope I’m like her when I grow old.”

  Grandma’s laughter rang out over the normal din of the restaurant, and I had to agree with Max and Luisa. She was something else, and more and more lately, I found myself wondering if she had something figured out that the rest of us simply didn’t. She saw things in a different light and made no apologies for the way she lived her life.

  When I scooted back to the edge of the booth, I could just glimpse her across the crowded restaurant. She was holding court in another converted car, although she was perched on the back of the booth looking every inch the beauty queen on the back of a convertible during a parade.

  “But…maybe we should use her for part of the show,” Max said.

  His words reached my ears as a foreign language. “Scusie?”

  Max chuckled. “Hear me out. The cabaret bit is great, but your grandmother’s burlesque act could be our comic relief.”

  “I think it’s a great idea,” Luisa said.

  “Okay,” I said, drawing out the word to give myself time to think. “You realize we’ll have to a
sk them to tone it down a lot. And I mean a lot.”

  “Sure, no problem. What’s the Sugar Bomb by the way?”

  “You don’t know? From the look on your face, I thought…well, yeah, it’s a strip club,” I said, and Max choked on the bite of French fry he had just taken. “Oh, yes. My grandmother dances at a strip club. Every Tuesday, I do believe. And her husband, my very young step-grandfather, is the current manager. Welcome to my life.”

  Max wiped his mouth with a napkin and tapped his chin. “I still think it will work,” he said. “If anything it will add a touch of authenticity to the show.”

  I opened the binder and turned to the page that contained the opening outline. Max had envisioned a romance between two young stars. The story in the basic form was sweet. As I read through the bullet points, I started to feel like I could envision a place for Grandma in the script.

  “This could really work,” I said, and started penciling in my own ideas on the outline.

  Across the restaurant, Grandma’s laughter lifted into the air, spurring me to work faster.

  Chapter Six

  A few days before Valentine’s Day, as I put the finishing touches on our script, I was interrupted by a frantic knocking at my door.

  “Hayley, can you get that?”

  Silence. Then more banging.

  “Hayley? Come on. Please? I’ve got to finish this.”

  I listened. Had she gone out or something without telling me? With a sigh, I saved my document and shut my laptop. The knocking began again with more intensity as I hurried out of my bedroom.

  “I’m coming,” I called.

  I opened the door to Harlow and Britney. “Can you watch her?” Harlow asked, the corners of her mouth creased in stress or frustration.

  “Um…sure?” I said. “What’s up?”

  Harlow brushed past me, and set Britney on the sofa along with a hot pink diaper bag. She unzipped the little girl’s coat, and said, “The school board walked out of negotiations so the union called a meeting. We might strike. Heck, we’ll probably strike. Mom was supposed to watch Britty for me this afternoon, and when she wasn’t home in time, I sort of hoped you or Hayley would be home.”